Failure

What?!

Only my second day, and I've failed so badly.

I woke up this morning woozy and weak, unable to stop trembling when I got out of bed. The world darkened and I forced myself to stand and go to the bathroom, so I could brush my teeth. I then poured myself a glass of water and took my vitamins.

My mom then greeted me and fed me not a bowl of broth, but a full bowl of lotus roots and chicken. CHICKEN!! That would bring my calorie count up to 200 already. But what could I do? I ate the whole thing.

Immediately it was like a switch had been flipped. My body demanded more nourishment, so when she offered to refill my bowl I didn't protest. I ate the second bowl. Then I brought out the yogurt I'd been saving and ate that too. And then I began to devour chocolates, one after the other. And then I moved onto chocolate fruit pieces. Then I needed something salty -- ANYTHING SALTY -- and I wolfed down two slices of baloney. I don't even like baloney! And then I ate another yogurt, and some fried vegetables, and now I am munching out of a box of Froot Loops.

I tried to make myself throw up, incredibly ashamed of my disgusting eating. But nothing worked, not one finger, not two, not even using the butt end of a toothbrush. I merely gagged myself to tears, spat up some chocolate-colored saliva, and wrenched my stomach. No vomit.

I am so ashamed.

I can't even last a day! What kind of failed anoretic am I???

In fact, I haven't even gone outdoors today to run. I am far too lazy. I am far too much of a failure. If I run, I shall collapse.

I am a failure.