The Game

Dear FatVi,

This is the Game.

I will let you eat 5 times a day. I will make it easy to remember when you have to eat. 10 AM, 12 PM, 2 PM, 4 PM, and 6 PM. If you wake up late, you will skip all the meals beforehand. Your first meal will always be your gummy vitamins and water. Hurry up and finish those disgusting fattening candies so you can buy some real vitamins and diet pills for a change!

I'm sorry, ThinVi... you know I still depend on my parents...

Don't complain. I understand. You will be allowed 100 calories per meal. I am giving you a lot of leeway, lard-bucket. 100 calories gives you enough room for an apple and a carrot! Or 1 cup of yogurt! Or heck, even some of those disgusting sugar nuggets this culture calls healthy breakfast food. And I know you. You are not as fat as those nasty obese people out there. You can still feel full on apples and yogurt. You will be expected to decrease this to 50 calories per meal when you get better at controlling yourself. Then it's down to 3 meals a day, like a normal person should eat.

Do not binge. I strictly forbid you to binge. If you were better at purging I would allow some of it, but you absolutely stink at it. Or else you will become one of those nasty obese people and you will be a fatty who must eat a truck tire's worth of carbs a day to feel satiated.

You will run EVERY DAY, no exceptions. 1/2 an hour to start with, 10 minutes which will be of straight running (1 mile), because right now you are weak as a cup of skim milk. I eventually expect you to run 5 miles a day. Run to the library and check out a diet book.

Your arms are disgusting and flabby. You will do 20 pushups a day. You will practice cats.

Your abs are disgusting and flabby. You will do 50 each of crunches and leg lifts.

You have cankles. Run more.

I expect all of these exercises to increase to 150 by the end of break. Preferably more.

Don't be lazy any longer. I am here to motivate you, remember? You want to slip back into that beautiful slim dress of yours, don't you? You want to wear those sexy jeans again, don't you? You want your face to look sharp and elegant again, don't you?

Then listen to what I say.

Love,

ThinVi